Thursday, May 31, 2007
Dont tell me what to do
Id like to believe that I'm pretty easy going. Although someone I love dearly recently told me that I'm anal... Anyway, that doesn't mean I'm not easy going, right? Never mind. I guess my point was that you can throw pretty much anything at me, but dont tell me what I can and cant do. That certainly makes me angry. It was quite hot out here and I wanted to spend some time outside with the kids. While I was out there, I decided to plant some of the dahlias that we had left (yes, lazy me! Some still are not in the ground. We didn't know where to plant them at the new house. Recently we just decided to stuff them all in the garden space to save them- this is besides my point). When I was all ready to plant until I was hot, my husband forbade me to be in the sun. He said that the heat isn't good for my MS blah blah blah. I told him that it would just make me have temporary symptoms that would go away shortly, but he didn't care to listen. Get back in the house before I'm in a wheel chair. Boy did that make me fume. Its okay to have me do a gazillion other things that could stress out my MS into a relapse, but when its something like heat (that only temporarily effects your MS, not causes further damage) and I'm just enjoying myself.. I'm a BIG GIRL. I can make up my own mind.
Barn update
Here is the progress of the barn thus far. The last picture was taken about an hour ago. My husband is out there right now working on it. We opted to make the peak nice and tall rather than squatter at the top.
So, this is what it looks like right now. Good news though, they are delivering the alpacas on Friday, June 8th now. They had a delay in the delivery, so now we have another week to complete it!
So, this is what it looks like right now. Good news though, they are delivering the alpacas on Friday, June 8th now. They had a delay in the delivery, so now we have another week to complete it!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Looking Good
After a few days of pondering and scratching his head, we have some progress. Mike just couldnt figure out what angles to put the roof at to have it look proper. We wanted a taller point, not the more squaty looking roof top, but we just couldnt figure the math out in our head. So I got on the internet looking for ideas. I mashed a few of the ideas together and came up with 112.5 degrees on the inside point of the roof. But how long to make each board? The best idea we could come up with is to cut the angle and mock it all up on the ground. There we marked out on the ground where the barn would stand and marked the halfway point for the roof peak. Then we didnt get much farther. Until yesterday! My mother and her husband, Wayne, came over to visit the grandkids. Wayne spent some time out in the shop helping Mike to figure out all the angles and stayed to help raise up a complete rafter after setting up the template for Mike. It was wonderful to see it being built again. Now Im getting a bit hopful that it will be done it time.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Mike and his hammer Vs Time
Our alpacas are supposed to be delivered in about a week and a half. Well...My husband just started working on building their shelter. We decided to build a 10x12 red barn with a loft for storage and no doors (otherwise the alpacas wouldnt want to use it for being dark). Shall we take wagers on who will win? My husband completing the shed in time for the alpacas, or will time win the race?
Okay, I tried to upload some photos of Mikes progress so that you may better gage your wager BUT its not cooperating। So Ill add those in later। Basically he has the framing of the two side walls done। He has the back 12ft wall to do, frame in the roof, build the loft, add the siding, and shingle the roof. Mmmmm....
Okay, I tried to upload some photos of Mikes progress so that you may better gage your wager BUT its not cooperating। So Ill add those in later। Basically he has the framing of the two side walls done। He has the back 12ft wall to do, frame in the roof, build the loft, add the siding, and shingle the roof. Mmmmm....
This is in the morning...
And this is in the evening...
Updated: After work this evening, Mike completed the framing to the back wall of the barn. Ill have a picture in the morning. It was a bit dark when he stopped. Maybe he's more motivated than I had thought?
Updated: After work this evening, Mike completed the framing to the back wall of the barn. Ill have a picture in the morning. It was a bit dark when he stopped. Maybe he's more motivated than I had thought?
Here is the updated picture for completed work on Thursday.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Dancing Penguin
Okay, so I had to share this one also. Emily was laughing so much. She kept asking to see it again and again.
Monday, May 21, 2007
My horrible moment as a mother
Well, one of them any way. My husband had been busy around the house and yard. We had thought we heard a critter in the house and it seemed large. He thought it was a rat, but I thought it was a mongoose (there are a few in the neighborhood). He put out a few rat traps just in case. Some of those have a heart live traps and some of those "snap its face off" traps. I decided to just leave the door open and see if my mongoose would leave. Sure enough, the signs and sounds of him disappeared. So after a couple days we took up the traps. I was in the kitchen cooking lunch when I heard this odd metal cling noise. I assumed one of the kids dropped something. Since my husband was on the couch in the other room, I quickly figured it was nothing because I heard nothing from him. Right? Well, moments later, I heard my baby, Ethan, start up a panicked painful scream. I ran out into the living room, but I couldn't find him! I looked while I listened for him to scream again. He was behind the wood stove. I was horrified. I screamed to my husband (who had been SLEEPING on the couch) No, the wood stove wasn't on, but we had forgotten a rat trap behind the wood stove. Ethan had figured out how to get up on the platform and found the rat trap. Thank God it had smashed above his chubby lower forearm and not on his fingers. He was so mad and hurt that he was covered in sweat. He had this big purple raised welt on his arm. Horrible Horrible. I cant believe I forgot it was back there. Cant trust a rat trap. However, I should be able to leave my kids with Daddy to watch them for a few minutes while I make lunch, yes?
THIS is not a toy. Especially not the rat ones that we used. They are huge. Makes me ill thinking about it again.
My baby boy has Staff!
My poor little boy woke up this morning with THIS!! Its horrid. In the picture it actually doesn't look as bad. He had a couple little sores (one on either thigh, one on his inner wrist) these were staff infections last month. I did all the antibiotic for ten days. But Look! Two to almost three weeks later my boy wakes up with this. At least it doesn't seem to bother him really. Or maybe his new ear infection is distracting him enough.
Favorite Fortune Cookie Saying?
Ive had this little fortune cookie saying in a frame with a picture of my kids. Ive got it in a prominent spot in the kitchen so I can see it every day.
Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.
Have any that you especially like?
Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.
Have any that you especially like?
Saturday, May 19, 2007
My stress is my kids stress
These last two weeks or so has been really tough. My kids have been off the wall and have had such terrible behavior. They suddenly became out of control in public and just pushing the line all the time. Minute by minute it seemed. Tonight I was so frustrated. After putting them to bed I calmed myself with a bit of bible study. I reflected and prayed to God silently for guidance. After about two hours, it came to me. Its all my fault. The sudden change in their behavior is simply mirroring my change in mood this week. My terrible time is why I really decided to start a blog in the first place. This month is three special days for me. My birthday, mother's day and my anniversary to my husband all in about a two week span. My birthday was miserable. My husband just doesn't celebrate anything really. He thinks its good enough to just make him rib eye for dinner. No special time, no special acknowledgements. He so worried that it will become obligations. He actually didn't even TELL me happy birthday. Or happy mothers day. But he did say happy anniversary today. He didn't even really talk to me on my birthday. In fact, we were pretty much in an argument. For long and dumb reasons, he made me tell him some of my thoughts (really - he threatened that he would go outside and separate himself from me if I didn't tell him). I should have lied and said something different than what I really thought. But that's not like me. I cannot do that. So, he didn't like my response and he still separated himself from me. Mothers day was the same, but I did little things with my kids on my own. Our anniversary, at least he said something. By that time I was so stressed out that it was going to be another horrible day.
So these last two weeks or so have been so completely stressful to me. Ive felt so unimportant and unloved by my husband. My children really picked up on that. I have a lot of ground to make up with my children for these last two weeks. I was at a website reviewing their top ten discipline principles to get ideas on what I was doing most wrong lately. Sadly, Ive really sucked. My bad mood made me short tempered. Ive disregarded the uniqueness of each of my children in my punishments. I have not had "special time" with my children - which probably really caused a lot of the problems. In allowing myself to be so moody and depressed, I modeled to my children this behavior as acceptable.
Sometimes I could just kick myself. It seems the harder I try to be a great mom, the more profoundly I screw up. I pray that my children make it through childhood and they look back at like what they see. I pray they love each other and have a tight bond. Above all, I pray that they acknowledge and accept the Lord as their savoir.
So these last two weeks or so have been so completely stressful to me. Ive felt so unimportant and unloved by my husband. My children really picked up on that. I have a lot of ground to make up with my children for these last two weeks. I was at a website reviewing their top ten discipline principles to get ideas on what I was doing most wrong lately. Sadly, Ive really sucked. My bad mood made me short tempered. Ive disregarded the uniqueness of each of my children in my punishments. I have not had "special time" with my children - which probably really caused a lot of the problems. In allowing myself to be so moody and depressed, I modeled to my children this behavior as acceptable.
Sometimes I could just kick myself. It seems the harder I try to be a great mom, the more profoundly I screw up. I pray that my children make it through childhood and they look back at like what they see. I pray they love each other and have a tight bond. Above all, I pray that they acknowledge and accept the Lord as their savoir.
Clinical MS Explanation
So here is a more clinical explanation of MS, as requested:
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is at onset an immune-mediated demyelinating disease. That means the nerve fiber covering - imagine a power cable with no covering around the wire. You couldn't control the path of the electricity. That means you cant make it work how you want, like play your stereo. So in comparison, my covering around my electric nerve is missing in places and I cant always make it work the way I want, Like feel that that stove is HOT. In most cases, it starts as a relapsing-remitting disease with distinct attacks and no symptoms between flares. Over years or decades (some unfortunately from the get go), virtually all cases transition into a progressive disease in which insidious and slow neurological deterioration occurs with or without acute flares. Relapsing-remitting disease is often responsive to immune suppressive or modulating therapies (Like Avonex, Betaseron, Copaxone and Rebif), while immune based therapies are generally ineffective in patients with a progressive clinical course. Disability correlates better with measures of axonal atrophy than immune mediated demyelination. Therefore, immune based therapies, in order to be effective, need to be started early in the disease course while MS is predominately an immune-mediated and inflammatory disease. While current immune based therapies delay disability, no intervention has been proven to prevent progressive disability.
Here is the National Multiple Sclerosis Society webpage if you would like to do further reading
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is at onset an immune-mediated demyelinating disease. That means the nerve fiber covering - imagine a power cable with no covering around the wire. You couldn't control the path of the electricity. That means you cant make it work how you want, like play your stereo. So in comparison, my covering around my electric nerve is missing in places and I cant always make it work the way I want, Like feel that that stove is HOT. In most cases, it starts as a relapsing-remitting disease with distinct attacks and no symptoms between flares. Over years or decades (some unfortunately from the get go), virtually all cases transition into a progressive disease in which insidious and slow neurological deterioration occurs with or without acute flares. Relapsing-remitting disease is often responsive to immune suppressive or modulating therapies (Like Avonex, Betaseron, Copaxone and Rebif), while immune based therapies are generally ineffective in patients with a progressive clinical course. Disability correlates better with measures of axonal atrophy than immune mediated demyelination. Therefore, immune based therapies, in order to be effective, need to be started early in the disease course while MS is predominately an immune-mediated and inflammatory disease. While current immune based therapies delay disability, no intervention has been proven to prevent progressive disability.
Here is the National Multiple Sclerosis Society webpage if you would like to do further reading
MS, my life and my family
Okay, so what's MS and whats it to me? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was 19. It basically translates into Many Scars. It means that my body is attacking its own nerve fiber covering which causes shorts in the system. So, my nervous system doesn't operate properly. As time goes on the damage changes. My body tries to repair it, nothing is as good as new. The damaged portions of my nerve fibers show up as white spots on an MRI, and they glow if they are currently being attacked. When I have an MRI of my brain done, I have all these white spots in my brain. It sort of looks like little pieces of the picture are just missing. So when I just cant seem to remember anything, I just joke that it must have fell out of one of the "holes in my brain". Sounds stupid, but sometimes making a joke out of your problems is a way to cope with it.
MS Really changed my life. I can think of little symptoms that I had in high school, early as 13 or 14. Blurred vision, unexplained muscle tremors, and vertigo. I just brushed it off because it didn't stick around long. But when I was 19 I had a huge attack. It was all I could do to walk. Oddly enough I couldn't keep shoes with no backs on my feet (like sandals). I couldn't feel anything from my navel down. It was the scariest thing. I would just be sitting there and suddenly a portion of my body went numb. One day my left leg was numb, later in the day the left side of my back suddenly went numb. I awoke the next morning and could barely get out of bed. Everything from just about my navel was numb. My right side was very weak. I had to concentrate and go so slowly while holding onto support to be able to walk. My speech slurred, my vision blurred, I could barely pee. I have to actually force myself to relax and contract the two muscle sets to make myself pee. A lot of times this makes me end up in tears. Going to the bathroom became a horrible embarrassing time in my life. Ive had accidents (thankfully at home - I would die if I wet my pants in the grocery store). I lost the contrast vision partially in one eye and significantly in the other. This means that I have a hard time telling the difference between similar types of reds and greens. There are those pictures made up of the dots that have red dots in the shape of a number and all the rest of the dots are blue. I remember when those were so obvious. How can you not see that? Well, now I cant with the one eye. With two eyes I can tell something is there, but I cant make out much of it. I had vertigo were I couldn't drive for almost a year. That is very difficult to not be able to drive when you are a homemaker.
Depression? Lord yes. Sometimes I think I'm doing well, but I guess I'm just hiding it all away. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Before I found out I had MS I was well liked. I had lots of acquaintances and friends. I loved my job and was doing well and the coworkers/boss was great. Then I got slammed with the news that I had MS. I was so devastated. I went to work to try and get my mind off of it. Despite my one good friends advice, I decided that I wouldn't hide it from anyone. For maybe a month (to be generous) people were supportive, did sweet things, said encouraging things. But my problems with MS didn't go away, but their support did. Actually, I have to applaud my work. They were actually supportive longer than a lot of the people that I thought were my friends. In fact, one friend came over the day after I was diagnosed. I lived in a basement apartment at my mother's and step father's house. I was crying and depressed. I told my friend that my doctor told me I had MS. He stayed and didn't say much for a short while...then he told me that he didn't think that God wanted us to be friends. And he left me alone to cry. Several friends just stopped calling. So when work stopped being supportive and understanding, I felt I had lost so much. I felt like everything I knew was slipping away.
Slowly I began to be able to walk a bit better, only with a small gait difference. It was then that I meant my future husband standing on the sidewalk while I was on my way with a friend, Katie, to Starbucks. He was standing there with his brother and law. They were yelling and talking to people on the sidewalk around them. I thought, oh please...don't look over here.... We walked past him and he gestured in my direction and said "Heyyyy! I'm single!" I was a bit surprised and simply nodded slightly and said "Well, that's good..." and scurried off. After helping Katie study at the coffee shop, we started heading for my car so I could take her home. Suddenly I realized that we were going by them again. Katie wanted to stop because she was so interested in the odd men. I begged her not to stop. I was a bit scared of them. That is so funny to think of that now. I was scared of the man that would become my husband. He tried to talk to me but he realized that I was not interested. He told his brother in law to leave us alone because I wasn't interested. But good old Katie. She is so stubborn. She was asking them all sorts of silly questions. I'm not sure exactly why, other than it was Gods doing until he opened my eyes. Katie talked us into going to a local Irish pub. It was there while we watched the live Irish music and the dancers that I saw him differently. He was much calmer and we actually had a great conversation. He wanted to call me, but I was still a bit wary that he might be a nutcase. I gave him my work number and told him to call me at a certain time. The boys walked us back to my car. When we got to my car, he asked me if he could have a kiss. I was embarrassed. I didn't know him, and hadn't decided who he was. I told him no. He smiled and said "I can wait." I tried not to think if he was going to call me or not. He called exactly when I told him to. I believe he was as equally surprised as I was. We arranged a date to meet downtown in a couple days. I had a wonderful time. We just walked along the waterfront and talked (I mostly listened). After much time, we went back to his house for a movie. Really, I was having so much fun with him, that I just didn't want to go home. So he invited me to spend the night. He was clear that he didn't expect anything - he just didn't want me to leave either. I agreed.
I climbed into his bed in his tee shirt and a pair of his boxers and snuggled the blankets around me. He walks into the room and says "I hope you don't mind that I sleep commando," swoops off his boxers and hops into the bed. It all happened so quickly. I lay there rigid and bug eyed for a couple minutes. I just wasn't comfortable. So I told him that I didn't have the stuff that I needed to stay the night and get ready for work. Then I dashed out the door before he could convince me to stay (yes, I dashed out in the boxers).
He called the next day and I came over again. Then I was comfortable to stay the night and that he really didn't expect anything. My mom jokes that I went over there one day and just never came back home. I was away from him when I went on a trip with some friends that I had planned months before I met him. We all went to Vegas for three days. It sounds sappy, but that was so hard to be away from him. I was only away from him one other night. I had gone to the sweetest lady I know, Jean, and stayed at her house so that I could think about things. (I should mention that my husbands name is Mike) Mike and I had gotten into a huge argument. His angry words were very devastating to me. I thought things through and new I loved him and he loved me. Months after that, he proposed to me and we went to Vegas to get married. We just couldn't see all of our family getting together for a merry wedding ceremony. So, lets save the money and go to VEGAS! It was great! Stayed at the Luxor and we took a helicopter ride into the canyon and landed on a plateau for a picnic. It was beautiful. The sun was setting. The canyon was spectacular. I wish I had a real camera then. We flew over the Vegas lights at night on the way back. It was very memorable. No we didn't have Elvis marry us. We had a simple ceremony. My mother and step father came to witness and enjoy Vegas with us.
As soon as we got back into town, I didn't even make it into the house, I started vomiting on the lawn. I was pregnant! Thus began the saga of being pregnant for three years. So, Mike's daughter, another blue eyed daughter -Emily, first son -Joseph, and now the baby boy -Ethan. That pretty much hit the fast forward button through the gross stuff of being sick with hyperemesis. (I threw up until the babies came out). Oh, and as for the friend thing, when you get married - you lose some more. When you have a baby - you lose some more. So I have one, two , three , four. Those are the real friends. Through thick and thin.
So basically now, my life goes on. My MS has left me with a crooked smile (some numbness that especially makes me drool when I eat an ice cream cone...), bladder problems, intimate problems, blurred vision (sometimes painful), poor balance, terrible memory (I use to never have to study), slurry speech, cognitive problems, sometimes I just cant get a word out, vertigo, fatigue, muscle tremors/weakness, hand and finger numbness. And don't forget the depression. The medicine adds to that also. Its a side effect - not like it wasn't there already, but maybe that's why the depression isn't gone? This list changes everyday. Sometimes is shorter. Sometimes its longer.
Hmm. I should go to sleep now. Enjoy some before the kids wake up.
MS Really changed my life. I can think of little symptoms that I had in high school, early as 13 or 14. Blurred vision, unexplained muscle tremors, and vertigo. I just brushed it off because it didn't stick around long. But when I was 19 I had a huge attack. It was all I could do to walk. Oddly enough I couldn't keep shoes with no backs on my feet (like sandals). I couldn't feel anything from my navel down. It was the scariest thing. I would just be sitting there and suddenly a portion of my body went numb. One day my left leg was numb, later in the day the left side of my back suddenly went numb. I awoke the next morning and could barely get out of bed. Everything from just about my navel was numb. My right side was very weak. I had to concentrate and go so slowly while holding onto support to be able to walk. My speech slurred, my vision blurred, I could barely pee. I have to actually force myself to relax and contract the two muscle sets to make myself pee. A lot of times this makes me end up in tears. Going to the bathroom became a horrible embarrassing time in my life. Ive had accidents (thankfully at home - I would die if I wet my pants in the grocery store). I lost the contrast vision partially in one eye and significantly in the other. This means that I have a hard time telling the difference between similar types of reds and greens. There are those pictures made up of the dots that have red dots in the shape of a number and all the rest of the dots are blue. I remember when those were so obvious. How can you not see that? Well, now I cant with the one eye. With two eyes I can tell something is there, but I cant make out much of it. I had vertigo were I couldn't drive for almost a year. That is very difficult to not be able to drive when you are a homemaker.
Depression? Lord yes. Sometimes I think I'm doing well, but I guess I'm just hiding it all away. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Before I found out I had MS I was well liked. I had lots of acquaintances and friends. I loved my job and was doing well and the coworkers/boss was great. Then I got slammed with the news that I had MS. I was so devastated. I went to work to try and get my mind off of it. Despite my one good friends advice, I decided that I wouldn't hide it from anyone. For maybe a month (to be generous) people were supportive, did sweet things, said encouraging things. But my problems with MS didn't go away, but their support did. Actually, I have to applaud my work. They were actually supportive longer than a lot of the people that I thought were my friends. In fact, one friend came over the day after I was diagnosed. I lived in a basement apartment at my mother's and step father's house. I was crying and depressed. I told my friend that my doctor told me I had MS. He stayed and didn't say much for a short while...then he told me that he didn't think that God wanted us to be friends. And he left me alone to cry. Several friends just stopped calling. So when work stopped being supportive and understanding, I felt I had lost so much. I felt like everything I knew was slipping away.
Slowly I began to be able to walk a bit better, only with a small gait difference. It was then that I meant my future husband standing on the sidewalk while I was on my way with a friend, Katie, to Starbucks. He was standing there with his brother and law. They were yelling and talking to people on the sidewalk around them. I thought, oh please...don't look over here.... We walked past him and he gestured in my direction and said "Heyyyy! I'm single!" I was a bit surprised and simply nodded slightly and said "Well, that's good..." and scurried off. After helping Katie study at the coffee shop, we started heading for my car so I could take her home. Suddenly I realized that we were going by them again. Katie wanted to stop because she was so interested in the odd men. I begged her not to stop. I was a bit scared of them. That is so funny to think of that now. I was scared of the man that would become my husband. He tried to talk to me but he realized that I was not interested. He told his brother in law to leave us alone because I wasn't interested. But good old Katie. She is so stubborn. She was asking them all sorts of silly questions. I'm not sure exactly why, other than it was Gods doing until he opened my eyes. Katie talked us into going to a local Irish pub. It was there while we watched the live Irish music and the dancers that I saw him differently. He was much calmer and we actually had a great conversation. He wanted to call me, but I was still a bit wary that he might be a nutcase. I gave him my work number and told him to call me at a certain time. The boys walked us back to my car. When we got to my car, he asked me if he could have a kiss. I was embarrassed. I didn't know him, and hadn't decided who he was. I told him no. He smiled and said "I can wait." I tried not to think if he was going to call me or not. He called exactly when I told him to. I believe he was as equally surprised as I was. We arranged a date to meet downtown in a couple days. I had a wonderful time. We just walked along the waterfront and talked (I mostly listened). After much time, we went back to his house for a movie. Really, I was having so much fun with him, that I just didn't want to go home. So he invited me to spend the night. He was clear that he didn't expect anything - he just didn't want me to leave either. I agreed.
I climbed into his bed in his tee shirt and a pair of his boxers and snuggled the blankets around me. He walks into the room and says "I hope you don't mind that I sleep commando," swoops off his boxers and hops into the bed. It all happened so quickly. I lay there rigid and bug eyed for a couple minutes. I just wasn't comfortable. So I told him that I didn't have the stuff that I needed to stay the night and get ready for work. Then I dashed out the door before he could convince me to stay (yes, I dashed out in the boxers).
He called the next day and I came over again. Then I was comfortable to stay the night and that he really didn't expect anything. My mom jokes that I went over there one day and just never came back home. I was away from him when I went on a trip with some friends that I had planned months before I met him. We all went to Vegas for three days. It sounds sappy, but that was so hard to be away from him. I was only away from him one other night. I had gone to the sweetest lady I know, Jean, and stayed at her house so that I could think about things. (I should mention that my husbands name is Mike) Mike and I had gotten into a huge argument. His angry words were very devastating to me. I thought things through and new I loved him and he loved me. Months after that, he proposed to me and we went to Vegas to get married. We just couldn't see all of our family getting together for a merry wedding ceremony. So, lets save the money and go to VEGAS! It was great! Stayed at the Luxor and we took a helicopter ride into the canyon and landed on a plateau for a picnic. It was beautiful. The sun was setting. The canyon was spectacular. I wish I had a real camera then. We flew over the Vegas lights at night on the way back. It was very memorable. No we didn't have Elvis marry us. We had a simple ceremony. My mother and step father came to witness and enjoy Vegas with us.
As soon as we got back into town, I didn't even make it into the house, I started vomiting on the lawn. I was pregnant! Thus began the saga of being pregnant for three years. So, Mike's daughter, another blue eyed daughter -Emily, first son -Joseph, and now the baby boy -Ethan. That pretty much hit the fast forward button through the gross stuff of being sick with hyperemesis. (I threw up until the babies came out). Oh, and as for the friend thing, when you get married - you lose some more. When you have a baby - you lose some more. So I have one, two , three , four. Those are the real friends. Through thick and thin.
So basically now, my life goes on. My MS has left me with a crooked smile (some numbness that especially makes me drool when I eat an ice cream cone...), bladder problems, intimate problems, blurred vision (sometimes painful), poor balance, terrible memory (I use to never have to study), slurry speech, cognitive problems, sometimes I just cant get a word out, vertigo, fatigue, muscle tremors/weakness, hand and finger numbness. And don't forget the depression. The medicine adds to that also. Its a side effect - not like it wasn't there already, but maybe that's why the depression isn't gone? This list changes everyday. Sometimes is shorter. Sometimes its longer.
Hmm. I should go to sleep now. Enjoy some before the kids wake up.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Lessons in Humility
I was doing a bit of reading on the OneVoice newsletter that I receive in my email. Today's devotional was by Dr. John Barnett and was titled Lessons in Humility. This was about pride and humility. Dr Barnett really held no punches and really let it all out there. I encourage you to check out the link to this article. Please let me know if it expires. Its a bit long, but its broken up well into segments. Some reviews and expands on versus in the bible, and most other parts are Dr Barnett's thoughts which really triggered a lot of my own thoughts. You think you are not full of pride? Seen through these views, its very apparent that Pride is leached into every sin. "The greatest plague on Earth...All conflicts and troubles have flowed downward from pride. The source of every gossip, every hurt feeling, every church division, every departed sheep is pride. At the heart of every fight is pride..." At Oneplace.com you can view Dr Barnett and numerous other faith talk. There are articles, books, audio sermons and podcasts that you may subscribe to. Its made my ipod indispensable.
Studly sweet alpaca
Here is one of our alpacas. All 12 are to be delivered in about a week or so. Then we will name them and Ill share a picture of them all together.
While the husband is away
Oh, the things I find to spend my time while my husband is away on business. I decided since I didn't have him to talk to... Ill talk to you! No place to loose my journal, and this way is a lot more fun.
We just recently moved out here into God's country and it is certainly a piece of heaven! We decided to fence off some of the space and buy some alpacas for the kids. We went looking to buy no more than three...but we ended up with 12. They were just sooo soft and beautiful! They make this odd yet sweet hummm sound when they are happy together. I just couldn't resist. So I nicknamed our property "the salt farm" until further notice. Too bad the kids won't be able to help too much for now, but at least they will have fun. I have four children. My eldest, Hope, is 12 and has two homes (I am her step-mother). She is here every other weekend. My second daughter is 3, Emily, my first son, Joseph, is two next month, and my baby boy, Ethan, is going to be one in july.
Yes, I certainly have my hands full but I would gladly have more. However, I get very ill when Im pregnant. Not my MS, that actually goes into a silent state while Im pregnant (of course the doctors don't know why or how women do this when they are pregnant). I get hyperemises gravidarium, which is the fancy word for throw up everything your made of for nine months. My last child was the worst. He landed me in the hospital for weeks at a time. Its lots of meds, ivs at home, and it is so stressful on the family. The church was what saved us my last pregnancy. So many wonderful women stepped forward to come help, clean, cook and care for my children. My step mother (God bless her) even came to live with us part of my ugly first trimester. My second pregnancy wasnt too bad. I didnt have to be hospitalized. The ER care and the meds were able to keep things controlled well enough. This extreme is only found in roughly 3% of pregnancies and less than half of those extend beyond the 21 week mark. So I figure that my children owe me with an easy childhood. lol.
We just recently moved out here into God's country and it is certainly a piece of heaven! We decided to fence off some of the space and buy some alpacas for the kids. We went looking to buy no more than three...but we ended up with 12. They were just sooo soft and beautiful! They make this odd yet sweet hummm sound when they are happy together. I just couldn't resist. So I nicknamed our property "the salt farm" until further notice. Too bad the kids won't be able to help too much for now, but at least they will have fun. I have four children. My eldest, Hope, is 12 and has two homes (I am her step-mother). She is here every other weekend. My second daughter is 3, Emily, my first son, Joseph, is two next month, and my baby boy, Ethan, is going to be one in july.
Yes, I certainly have my hands full but I would gladly have more. However, I get very ill when Im pregnant. Not my MS, that actually goes into a silent state while Im pregnant (of course the doctors don't know why or how women do this when they are pregnant). I get hyperemises gravidarium, which is the fancy word for throw up everything your made of for nine months. My last child was the worst. He landed me in the hospital for weeks at a time. Its lots of meds, ivs at home, and it is so stressful on the family. The church was what saved us my last pregnancy. So many wonderful women stepped forward to come help, clean, cook and care for my children. My step mother (God bless her) even came to live with us part of my ugly first trimester. My second pregnancy wasnt too bad. I didnt have to be hospitalized. The ER care and the meds were able to keep things controlled well enough. This extreme is only found in roughly 3% of pregnancies and less than half of those extend beyond the 21 week mark. So I figure that my children owe me with an easy childhood. lol.
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